Mr Mingin minged. He monged tae. And if it is guid Scots tae say he mingit, then he mingit as weel. He wis the mingiest mingin minger that ever lived. Mingin is the warst kin o smell. Mingin is warse than honkin. Honkin is warse than bowfin. Bowfin is warse than a guff. And a guff can be eneuch tae make yer neb runkle.
It wisnae Mr Mingin's faut that he wis mingin. He wis a gaberlunzie, efter aw. He didnae hae a hame and sae he never had the chaunce tae hae a richt guid wash like ye and me. Efter a while the mingin-ness jist got warse and warse.