我在思想上回到了过去——思想令人绝望地渐行渐淡——遥远的地方，我在那里摸索某个秘密的通道，结果发现时间的监狱是球形的，没有出口。除了自杀，我尝试过一切。我曾抛弃自己的身份，以便能够充作一个传统的幽灵，偷偷进入孕育我之前就已经存在的国度。一个小玻璃球里的彩色螺旋，我就是这么看待自己的一生的……当我回顾那些流亡的岁月时，我看到自己，以及成千上万个其他俄国人，过着一种奇怪但完全不能说是不愉快的生活，处于物质的贫困和思想的奢华之中，在小人物、幽灵般的德国人和法国人之间，我们，流亡者们，碰巧居住在他们多少有点梦幻 ( My thought goes back to the past—and the despairing thoughts fade away gradually -- I fumbled a secret channel far away, but found the prison of the time is spherical and there is no exit. Apart from the suicide, I tried almost everything. I have ever abandoned my identity in order to be able to act as a traditional specter and sneak into a country that existed before I was born. The color spiral in a small glass ball is just how I look at my life……When I look back at those years of exile, I see myself and thousands of other Russians live a strange but not completely unpleasant life and be trapped in the material poverty and luxurious thought, wandering among the vile people, the spooky Germans and the French. We and the exiles happen to live in their somewhat dreamy houses. )